The last column on bar etiquette seems to have struck a chord among
readers; some wrote and urged me to explore the topic further. These letters
came from both servers and customers, and they brought up some good points.
One person mentioned that he had been served a bad beer that
the bartender refused to take back, claiming that it was supposed to taste that
way because it was Belgian. Obviously, without being there it’s hard to judge
who was right, but this is another reason to ask for a taste if you have any
doubt as to the freshness of the beer or whether you will like it or not.
People sometimes abuse the power to send back beer, and bartenders rightly tire
of people claiming that a beer is infected just because it is not to their
taste.
Some knowledgeable servers will automatically pour a taste
for people unasked if the beer they order is especially strong, or sour, or in
some way unusual. And that is a good strategy, because both parties are sure
what the transaction will be. At a recent beer event I watched someone
unknowingly order a lambic and quickly change his mind after the quick-thinking
bartender insisted that he try it first.
In an ideal world, bars would want you to be happy with
everything you order, and there are still some that will eat the cost of
replacing your beer if you don’t like it, but this is not the norm. It really
depends on the server because again, some bartenders at craft beer bars don’t
know much about beer and you may be more informed than them about beer flaws.
But they have the last word, and often will need to know you and respect your
judgment to take back the beer in question.
The bartender-patron relationship is a delicate balancing
act, with each having a certain degree of power over the other. It is in the
best interest of both to treat one another with courtesy and respect, so that
both get what they want out of the relationship. Even when things start off on
the wrong foot, you can use humor to defuse the situation and turn around the
situation to everyone’s advantage. Some bartenders make a career out of being
outwardly surly and nasty, but as with children it is often just posturing, and
within the crusty exterior is a real human being.
There were also comments on tipping. Bartenders make an
extremely small hourly wage and rely on tips for most of their income, and most
don’t have health insurance. And since they are the conduit through which all
this marvelous beer flows, why not be generous? Small kindnesses are usually
returned, often multiply, if you approach someone the right way.
Which brings up the question of buybacks. If you act the
right way in the right bar, you may be the lucky recipient of this arcane
system. Not all bars offer buybacks, and even if they do they are far from a
sure thing. You usually need to buy a few rounds first, and tip fairly. You
also shouldn’t be a jerk (in other words, have your bar etiquette together).
The choice is the bartender’s alone, so your relationship with your server is
key. Regulars, especially those with good attitudes will obviously receive such
favors more often.
If you are fortunate enough to receive a buyback, or knock
(in days past, the bartender would knock the bar in front of you after
delivering your drink, to signify that this round was “on the house”), count
yourself as fortunate, and acknowledge it. It is the ultimate validation of
your bar etiquette skills. Thank your bartender and when it comes time to tip,
just for a lark, tip them the full price of the drink you got free. You’re
still saving yourself the money you would have tipped if you paid for the
drink. Not only have you shown that you know how to act, you have established
the tone of the transaction, and are much more likely to receive one next time.
It is a mutually beneficial system, based on respect and tradition, and a
glorious throwback to old school bar culture.
